Mentoring [Engage & Equip: LIVE]

Find slides from Engage & Equip: LIVE here.

Mirror Jesus in Making Time

Ephesians 5:15-16 (ESV)
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.

Luke 6:13
When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles

Jesus spent most of His ministry making time for just a few choice others; so should we as we follow Him.

Sacrifice required…

  1. Cut out
    • Use the “3 Year Hindsight” test
  2. Invite in
    • Your life = Gospel + ordinary

…and joy promised

Get Off to a Good Start

The Right Person

  1. Stewardship
  2. Readiness
    • F  – Faithful
    • A  – Available
    • T  – Teachable

The Right Purpose

  1. Helps you know:
    • What your time together will look like
    • If you’re achieving your goal
    • If and when your relationship can end

The right person and right purpose are key because they let you know how to have the right parting of ways.

The Right Parting of Ways

  1. No chemistry?
  2. The purpose has changed/been achieved
  3. The person has changed
    • Bring issue
    • Encourage change
    • Give time
    • Part ways

Listen Up!

Be honest… are you “that person?”

The Bible says:

“A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinion.” (Proverbs 18:2)


“He who answers before listening—that is his folly and his  shame.” (Proverbs 18:13)

FOLLY AND SHAME? That’s quite the judgement! But we need it.

It feels good to be listened to, doesn’t it?

We feel significant
We feel loved
We have a place to share thoughts and feelings
We have the person’s undivided attention

Listening builds trust.
Trust is good for relationship—maybe the best, most important thing.
Thenwhy is it so hard to listen?

  We want to be heard—not listen.

1. Don’t talk. Listen.

You’re listening well when they ASK you what you think.

2. Ask answerable questions.

Proverbs: “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinion.”

Don’t ask questions you already have answers to. Those are called loaded questions.

“When are you going to stop sleeping with your boyfriend?”
“How are you going to read your Bible when you watch so much Netflix?”
“So, are you going to tell off you boss and quit your job?”

Instead, ask something like:

“Where do you see God in your relationship with your boyfriend?”
“Where do you see God at work?
“What areas of your life do you think God is urging you to grow?”
“Is there a passage in the Bible that you have read recently where God has shown you something about him or you?”

Do:memorize Proverbs 18:2—”The fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinion.”

Don’t: be a fool. Instead, take pleasure in understanding you mentoree, disciple, friend.

Ask questions and don’t talk—listen!

Point to God’s Word

Everyone is fighting a spiritualbattle, 

which requires a spiritualweapon.

Ephesians 6:10-12
Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood… but against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

A weapon only helps us if we know how to use it. 

  1. Read the Bible for yourself, and grow in knowledge of it. 
  2. Ask your mentee what they’re reading in the Bible and how God is working through it. 
  3. Discern lies and fight them with truth. 
  4. When your mentee asks for advice, respond with the question: “What do you think the Bible says about that?”

If you don’t know the answer, look it up together. That’s ok. 


  1. Preparation
    • Psalm 19:14
  2. Spontaneous
    • Psalm 5:2
  3. Intercession
    • 1 Samuel 12:23-24
  4. Cooperative
    • Luke11:1; Matthew 18:20

Resource: With Christ in the School of Prayer by Andrew Murray

Read the Providences

God is always working 
in countless ways
that intentionally intertwine

“Reading the Providences”

Helping your mentee
see the work of God 
in the everyday moments of their lives

Becoming equipped in “Reading the Providences”

  1. LISTEN intently for what God is doing
  2. SPEAK OUT the providences you see
  3. PRAY for clarity, with thanksgiving
  4. REMEMBER that you’ll see things they don’t

Keep Accountable

What is accountability?

The accounting of your glorifying God in what you do and are.

“Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” – 1 Corinthians 10:31

  • Christian
  • Human
  • Employee
  • Person with a Body
  • Neighbor
  • Man
  • Citizen
  • Roommate
  • Friend

This could be summed up by asking the question: “how you doin’ at what you doin’?”

What doesn’t work?

  1. The burden of accountability being on the accountability partner
  2. Peer accountability
  3. Cross-gender accountability

What does work?

  1. Be consistent + available
  2. Be patient + celebratory
  3. Use the question: “What would Jesus want me to keep you accountable to?”
  4. Use the 3 C’s if they confess sin
    1. Call it sin
    2. Call it forgiven
    3. Call for a change
  5. Remember (and remind) that God is always working on 100 different levels at the same time

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